SEEEEXXX PLEASE
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
