after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
