i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
where am i from again
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
