I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
