You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You don't make any sense
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