If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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