he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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