how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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