Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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