is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
