Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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