just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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