what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
