His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
