i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
