apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize