Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
