So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
