it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
