So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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