You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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