Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
