'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
