Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
