i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Sober January is a disaster.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
