is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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