I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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