my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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