bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
