He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
