Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
