I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
