my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
