Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
