I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
