I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
accomplished twins. life is a go
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
