We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
