in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
