Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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