Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
