That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
