im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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