I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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