he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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