I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
