So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
