his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i now understand why vodka
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
