I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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