Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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