Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
